Thursday, August 30, 2012

Soylant Green, is it on the Republican Menu yet?

From our friends at the Pundit Pie blog:

We thought we’d be served some red meat by Paul Ryan in his Convention speech last night, but I felt like I got my blood sucked instead.                                                                   

I can still feel the fang marks.  He not only looks like a vampire, his seductive blue eyes and deceptive boyish good looks are geared toward taking you by surprise when the fangs go in.  Soon we may all be a nation of the undead if the Republican have their way.    
                                         Separated at birth?  Ryan and Eddie Munster

The meat they offering is just pink slime dressed up in Republican red white and blue.  Or is it something worse?

No red meat, or even rattlesnake that tastes like chicken, they offer up a diet of lies, devoid of nutrition, but sold in Prime-Time to a nation hungry for answers to the question of why they can’t find work, their kids can’t afford school, their homes are about to be foreclosed on.   Why they can’t afford health insurance.  Ryan glibly says Trust us, we’ll save Medicare.   But they neglect to tell you their savings will cost you dearly when you get to the check- out line and find that you have to pick up more of a bill, despite paying into it all these years.

They say they will create 12 million jobs, but they don’t say how or where.  (And oh surprise, the projection of 12 million jobs is about right for the economy anyway, that is, nothing they do has anything to do with it, and if they really were the job creators, they’re figures would be way higher than average.) Not everyone can come out of a community college and go into investment banking. Will these jobs be in China? Maybe they’ll export American workers the way they exported their money.  Set up work camps in China where you can answer tech support questions for pennies a day and sleep five to a room.

Their biggest lie is that giving tax breaks to the rich makes them into “job creators.”  Well, where’s the beef?, as the little old lady used to say.  Mitt Romney says trust me to fix what’s wrong with this country; I’m a successful businessman.   But success to these parasites means something very different than it to does t the average American taxpayer.  According  to Rolling Stone, Bain Capital, which Romney boasts about, was nothing but another blood sucking corporation not interested in “creating jobs” but in looting the treasuries of the companies they gobbled up.  There’s the red meat, unfortunately the meat of the working families sucked dry in the wake of the Romney and his “successful” business dealings.  Successful for him.  Tragic for you and me.  Let’s listen between the lines of the right wing rhetoric as they try to tell us how being a successful business man translates into being a successful leader of a nation. 

Sure Romney was successful in business; his success comes at our expense. He got rich. You didn’t.  And another thing,  While he boasts about tithing to his church, he refuses to tell us how much (if anything) he’s  tithed to his Country over the past several years.    Show us the tax returns Mitt.

When will Americans wake up out of their dream of pulling themselves up by bootstraps they don’t have and into an economy that people like Romney have already shipped overseas?   These people are in for themselves. They get the meat, we get the trickled down juices that spill out of their bloodied mouths. Worse, we are the meat. They would be very happy to turn all of the working Americans into their own version of Soylent green.  It’s what for Republican dinner.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Cloning Jesus

It had to happen. After Dolly the sheep, a cow, assorted fruit flies, mice and other lower species, scientists would decide it was time to clone humans. In Italy a scientist has stated, against the tide of medical ethics, that if someone comes to him to be cloned, he’ll do it.
But that’s nothing. There’s now talk of cloning Jesus. I read it a few years back, and got to thinking maybe it's time to revive this thought. (Apparently the origin of this was a fake website now debunked by Snopes, but hey, a girl can dream right, especially one who went to a Christian college for a year.)  With all the blood and other relics purporting to be from the Son of God himself lying around in various churches, reliquaries and front yards of the devoted, it should be an easy task to scrape a few dried traces up for the test tube. If some of the blood isn’t actually authentic, we can probably still come up with a few minor saints and prophets.
And what a about the Virgin Mary? Can we take some tears running down the cheeks of a Brazilian Madonna on Easter morning and reproduce her? We can have the whole family, back together again! The Holy Ghost might be a problem. I don’t think ghosts have DNA, but maybe we can just conjure him up out of the aether.
What would a modern day Jesus be like? He’d have to dress differently if he wanted to minister to the 21st century If he turned up in robes and sandals, he’d be directed to Berkeley, and if he showed up with a cross and stigmata, he’d be picked up on a 72 hour hold.
A modern day Messiah would need a BMW and a line of gab.  Definitely a website, a Blog and a Facebook page.  He’d have to have hair by Yosh and clothes by Armani. Or maybe Calvin, so as not to appear snobbish. But really, no one is going to listen to him if he goes all humble and dresses like a bricklayer. Not even the bricklayers.
And he has to have a TV Ministry.  One with one of those mega churches. So it has to be in the South or one of the desert area, like LA, or Las Vegas, maybe Arizona, but no one in  northern climes ever goes to them, so far as I can tell. You can really pack them in and then the rest of your followers can watch you on TV and then send in their alms or tithe online.
But he needs a body of water nearby to walk on and a temple to drive the moneychangers out of. What is money changer anyway?  I’m guessing sort of like a loan shark. 
And can you imagine the Easter services, when he climb out of tomb and actually ascends into Heaven, maybe Mary and the Holy Ghost can accompany him each year up through the clouds and past the Pearly gates.  The whole crucifixion thing may have to go, too violent , maybe he can just take to the cave and pop out in three days, with all the ladies in their finery and men in the Sunday best waiting outside for the show to start.
I bet Jesus even gets scalpers for that!