Thursday, September 01, 2005


President Bush, in his return to a Washington prayer breakfast and halleluja chorus, gave thanks to the "good pe'ple of New Orle'ns" for their sacrifice to "get the job done in Iraq."

"Good Pe'ple of New Orle'ns," said the President, wiping pop tart juice off his face, "I thank you for giving up that Federal funding to fix your levees so we could win the hearts and minds of the Iraqi pe'ple. You are generous, giving up your National Guard troops to help us in the war against terr'ism over there so we don't have to fight it over here.

"I know y'all have had a little flood down there, and some of ya'll lost a few things, but what are things in comparison to Democracy in the Middle East? OK, so I know some of the things ya'll lost are your family; but heck, they coulda been fightin' in Iraq....Jest a little joke, friends...

"But seriously, we are winnin' the fight against terr'ism; make no mistake. It might be hard for ya'll down there in the flood waters and what not, but you are Amer'cuns! Y'er true Patriots. That's what you are. And I think I'll give y'all a medal. In the meantime, keep a stiff upper lip and.. What the?"

Here he was interrupted by an unseen hand tugging at his right shoulder. Then he slipped from sight as the camera panned the room of confused looking worshippers.

The words "Goddamit Guv'ner! Who invited you...?" could be heard before the screen went black.