Rush Limbaugh in the Ring

Rush Limbaugh to Star in Remake of the Wrestler
Posted 3/3/2009 9:55 AM PST

Why wait ten years to remake a Hollywood favorite? The Republicans, sensing their base slipping away, today announced that they will finance the remake of last year's surprise hit, The Wrestler.

Starring in the comeback role of the once washed up combatant, is Republican apologist and bombastic talk show host, Rush Limbaugh.

"Rush is perfect for the part," effused his one time rival, Michael Steele, head of the RNC, now chief producer of the Wrestler remake, to be called The Rustler, signifying the rustling up of the base who hunger for real blood and guts, long staples of Republican diets. "I know Rush and I sparred a bit, but I have apologized to him, as we have all agreed this project goes beyond petty internecine bickering.

"Our true enemies are the pinko-commie, socialist, abortion promoting, homosexual loving Democrats. Rush's comeback from his own foray into the dark world of illegal drug use and dropping ratings, not to mention his cholesterol laden gut, make him just right for the part of a down on his luck Republican operative, making one last gasp at bringing home the Party loyalists."

Critics were scratching their heads as they opined on the nightly news about the wisdom of the "last gasp" strategy.

"I don't know," said Ben Mankiewics of ABC's At the Movies "if this is really the image they want to broadcast to the public. In the original movie, the Mickey Rourke character appeared to be suffering a fatal heart attack as he flung himself from the ropes onto his opponent in the ring. I'm not getting the symbolism here."

However, Fox's Bill O'Reilly lauded the project as a sure box office hit, "and in politics, fundraising is everything. So what if Limbaugh expires in the movie; his ratings will soar and the coffers of the Republican Party will swell.

"I think it's a brilliant move. Liberals watch out"